CinemaNerdz

Movie Review: Shark Night 3D

Seth Paul

It was probably inevitable that I would review something that would draw comparison to Final Destination 5, but I thought it would at least have the decency to wait until the official horror film season. Instead, not more than a few weeks later we have Shark Night 3D. Why compare it to Final Destination 5? Well, setting aside the obvious 3D part of the movie (we’ll get back to that in a minute), it was directed by David R. Ellis. Mr. Ellis has also directed not one, but two Final Destination films, both part 2 and part 4 (aka The Final Destination, also in 3D). He also directed Snakes on a Plane, so if nothing else, Mr. Ellis is a master of knowing when he has a joke on his hands and running with it full steam ahead. To put it bluntly, Shark Night is much closer to Snakes on a Plane than it is the Final Destination movies he made in terms of entertainment; however, saying that something is almost as good as Snakes on a Plane probably isn’t saying very much.

While Final Destination 5 is perhaps more cringe-inducing (and, admittedly, better made), I mentioned in that review that The Final Destination was probably the funnier film. I still stand by this. While Final Destination 5 relied on the humor being derived solely from generic character one-liners and the grisly deaths of everyone in the production, The Final Destination understood from the get-go that its very premise was absurd to begin with, and often times ran with it to ridiculous ends (including the character’s reactions to the deaths getting more routine as the movie went on). This seems to be a staple of David Ellis, as Shark Night 3D is more similar to the fourth Final Destination’s sense of humor than Final Destination 5 was. Basically, as soon as you see a Great White shark leap out of the water to eat someone in midair, you know you’ve entered a realm of obvious silliness that expects you to shut your brain down completely.

Shark Night 3D begins, perhaps not surprisingly, trying to ape Jaws, with a bikini-clad girl and her boyfriend swimming in a lake. This is not their story, however, as she is quickly eaten to establish that, yes, there are sharks, and they are likely to eat more people (though it is during the day, so right off the bat the title is only half right). Enter our actual protagonists, medical student Nick (Dustin Milligan), slacker friend Gordon (Joel David Moore, trying his best not to look 8 years older than the rest of the cast), art model Blake (Chris Zylka), athlete Malik (Sinqua Walls), party girl Beth (Katharine McPhee), Malik’s girlfriend Maya (Alyssa Diaz), and sweet, unassuming Sara (Sara Paxton). There, that should be nearly every stereotype of the typical college victim list except for the drugged-out hipster (but this movie’s PG-13, so it has standards to follow). Sara has decided to invite all these people to her family’s vacation home out in the middle of a lake in the middle of the Louisiana swamplands (sounds inviting put that way, doesn’t it?) where they’ll spend the week getting sun, sex, and eaten by CG sharks which have set up shop in the waters surrounding the island. Oh, by the way, it’d be a good time to mention that this remarkably up-to-date home (which Sara says she hasn’t been back to in years) gets no cell phone reception and has no landline…and the only boat they have just exploded. Convenient, isn’t it? Anyhow, as the characters find their numbers dwindling slowly but surely, as day turns to night, it suddenly appears as if the sharks aren’t the only ones in the area to be afraid of: Sara’s old flame Dennis (Chris Carmack) and his sharp-toothed weirdo buddy Red (Joshua Leonard) seem suspicious enough on first glance, but could there be more to the sharks than these two let on?

Let’s get the 3D out of the way first: for most of the film, it is not utilized well…most of the above water shots almost appear shot in 2D (though I checked; a quick glasses lift showed they were 3D, if only just). It’s only when the camera gets underwater does the effect really shine…even with the background mostly a pea-soup green, what is on-screen is effectively rendered. Shame then that the underwater shots comprise about 5 minutes of total screen time, and the effect actually becomes less noticeable once the CG sharks are onscreen swimming around. While those five minutes look great, they are simply not enough to justify the extra ticket price.

Secondly, and…as weird as this sounds…there’s actually a reason to root for the protagonists. Quite frankly, for the slasher/horror movies I’ve seen this year, this one goes some distance in creating characters you don’t want to see killed. Even the brainless Blake has some shining moments of dignity. These aren’t a bunch of mindless props to see wound up and sent packing into the meat grinder; while not a deep film, it does allow for some suspense to build as to who will make it and who won’t (to a point, anyway). For a film of this type, the script allows for the more villainous characters to get away with some great one-liners (and no, I’m not referring to the sharks; this doesn’t get that ridiculous). Even Sheriff Sabin (Donal Logue) gets to deliver some truly funny lines about the current state of television programming.

Christine Quinn in Shark Night 3D. Photo by Steve Dietl.
© 2011 Incentive Film Productions, LLC.

Of course, the whole purpose of the sharks being in the lake to begin with is not only suspect, but mind-bogglingly overcomplicated and stupid, but, like The Final Destination, it’s not so much about the absurdity of the premise but on whether it delivers. For suspense, it does, and Shark Night 3D’s sense of humor goes a long way to hiding a lot of the plot holes; there should be something very wrong with a hillbilly cackling as he slowly lets something loose into the water, but it still manages to illicit chuckles. The gore, on the other hand, is mostly limited to churning blood in the water and a few missing limbs; while it seems much of it was intentionally done to get a PG-13 rating, there are a few edits that suggest an “unrated version” will be arriving on DVD in the near future.

My recommendation? Eh, of these two, if you have to see a 3D horror film before October, make it Final Destination 5. If you want to see a better movie overall (though not much better), see Shark Night 3D. It may not have cutting edge special effects, but it has a little more going for it in terms of story and humor. Gorehounds beware, though, this shark is missing a few teeth that probably ended up on the cutting room floor, so those of you waiting for a truly gut-ripping experience will probably be best served waiting for the DVD. But if you do see it in theaters, wait around after the credits…it may not be fall-down hilarious, but at least you can tell how much fun the cast had making the movie and how little they took it seriously. David R. Ellis may make garbage, but it’s entertaining garbage, and you can’t fault him for that.

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Seth Paul

When not failing to write novels and screenplays, box-office guru Seth writes humorous comedy tracks for films under the name "The One Man Band" that can be found at Rifftrax.com. Although, he has recently succeeded in writing the novella "Jack Alan and the Case of the Not-Exactly Rocket Scientists," available as an eBook on Amazon. He is also the English voice of Zak in "Zak McKracken: Between Time and Space."
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