Movie Review: Warcraft

First, it was a bestselling series of real-time strategy games. Then, it became one of the hottest online role-playing games in history. It was further immortalized in an episode of South Park. Now, the story of Warcraft hits the big screen, in a CG-fueled extravaganza of hammer-smashing, sword-swinging, and magic a-blazing. And how does it fare? Well, as someone who (shockingly, I’ll admit) knows nothing about the story from the games, Warcraft manages to be thoroughly entertaining film. But, unless the makers were trying deliberately to make the most expensive 1980s sandals-and-sorcery epic ever made, it may not be entertaining in quite the manner it was intended.

The story gets a little complicated, but here goes: The Orc home world is barren, having been wiped almost entirely of life. Gul’dan (Daniel Wu), the leader of the Orcs, uses a terrible magic known as The Fell to rip open a portal to another world. This world, Azeroth, is a land inhabited by Elves, Dwarves, and Humans, who live in general peace and prosperity. Naturally, the rampaging, bloodthirsty Orcs find plenty to destroy and plunder, but one of them, Durotan (Toby Kebbell) realizes The Fell is what was responsible for the destruction of their own world. Seeking to defeat Gul’dan and stop the war from destroying the planet, he seeks an uneasy alliance with King Wrynn (Dominic Cooper) as well as the King’s trusted advisors…but for all the friends each side has, they all will experience betrayal at the highest levels.

Before going into the issues with Warcraft (there are many), what cannot be said about it is that is an ugly film. Blizzard wowed many with its beautiful cut scenes from its latest Diablo release, and they do a fantastic job with presenting the graphical side of the film. Not only are the fantasy landscapes immersive and awe-inspiring, the little things show how far CGI work has come in this day and age. At one point, Durotan speaks with his fellow Orc Orgrim (Robert Kazinsky), and someone on staff took the time to animate Orgrim’s muscle twitch underneath his skin. In fact, the CGI is by far the most impressive and amazing thing about the film; the Orcs themselves are expressive, emotive, and exciting to watch from the first minute.

If only the same could be said of the live-action side. Other than Ben Foster (as the magical Medivh, referred to in the film 95% of the time as The Guardian), the cast not plastered under 500 pounds of computer imagery just…well, just don’t seem to be trying all that hard. Even the usually dependable Dominic Cooper spends most of his screen time doing questionable things that make you wonder who made him King in the first place, Travis Fimmel seems confused half the time that he’s on a movie set, and Khadgar (Ben Schnetzer) looks (and acts) as if he was played by a 13-year-old. Paula Patton does a decent job as Garona, the half-orc, but is bogged down in the difficult task of keeping her plastic tusks in place while explaining that it isn’t easy being green.

And yet, the acting isn’t enough to really hate the film. While the acting is surely not intended to be laughable (not with this much money on the line), it comes across as exactly the kind of cheesy, ridiculous and silly-sounding nonsense you would expect from a film made with a hundredth of this budget. This is the kind of ham you expect from a film like Outlaw (of Gor) or even a Krull. While there are a few moments of intentional humor, there is very little more amusing than hearing a serious discussion of fighting a war delivered from a man in elvish makeup whose eyebrows extend six inches beyond the end of his head (it works well in the video game, but not here). Compared to the quiet dignity of The Lord of the Rings (or even The Hobbit films), the zany, over the top eye-bugging and shouting here seem more summer stock than Shakespeare.

There is also so much crammed into this movie that following it from scene to scene can be a chore. While it all makes sense, the story is both trying to get an audience unfamiliar with the extensive lore of a multi-game series caught up with what’s going on while fitting in as much fan service as humanly possible for those who know it all. But then, when the talking gets to be too much, then hammers and spells start flying, and that is when the movie is at its best – when the cast shuts its mouth and lets the special effects do the talking. However, without giving any of the plot away, be forewarned that there is sequel bait aplenty…and as we all know, a big budget adaptation is always guaranteed a sequel (I hear Last Airbender 2 is scheduled for release in September, by the way).

So, if you are a Warcraft fan, who can tell each character apart at a glance, you’ll probably enjoy seeing this adaptation, especially in IMAX Digital 3D (the effects are impressive and never fade into the background, which is nice) with a loud sound system. If you’ve never seen the series and have no interest in the long-standing fight between Orcs and Humans, this probably won’t change your mind. However, if you have a great love of cheesy schlock with plenty of action and explosions, you will find much to love here. Just don’t expect a grand epic of great depth and meaning; you won’t find that here. Not even close.

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Seth Paul

When not failing to write novels and screenplays, box-office guru Seth writes humorous comedy tracks for films under the name "The One Man Band" that can be found at Rifftrax.com. Although, he has recently succeeded in writing the novella "Jack Alan and the Case of the Not-Exactly Rocket Scientists," available as an eBook on Amazon. He is also the English voice of Zak in "Zak McKracken: Between Time and Space."

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