The depth of just how horrible High School is will be difficult to convey with the written word. I was leery from the get-go, but figured that it would be at the minimum silly humor that may offer a chuckle or two. This did not happen. I don’t care what kind of audience this film might attract, stoner or otherwise. High School is a complete waste of time, even if you’re wasted! In fairness, when one goes to see a stoner comedy, you can’t expect depth, serious plots, or Academy Award winning performances, even if the movie has actor Adrien Brody (an Academy Award winner for Roman Polanski’s The Pianist). Makes one wonder what will be next for Brody, Steak and Shake commercials or perhaps the new spokesman for Price Line? Just goes to show that an Academy Award in no way secures and actor’s career.
So it begins, and I’ll be brief because it is very painful. The would-be valedictorian Henry Burke (Matt Bush) takes a hit of a J with his former childhood stoner friend Breaux (Sean Marquette) only to start tripping out. Shortly after this, he learns that his principle Mr. Gordon ( Michael Chiklis) is mandating an all school drug test with the consequence being immediate expulsion. Burke freaks out knowing that his MIT scholarship will be taken away from him if he fails the test. The two buddies form a plan to steal an incredible high potency ganga from the demented, one time lawyer, Psycho Ed (Brody), the town’s drug dealer. Their intention is to bake the drug in brownies, and have them distributed at the school’s bake sale, in hopes that if the whole school tests positive for drugs then there would be no way everyone could be expelled. As expected, the entire school is stoned, as well as the staff and faculty.
I can’t begin to describe how dreadful the performances are in this film, to the point of complete embarrassment. Our beloved Bubba Gump (Mykelti Williamson) named Paranoid, is so stupid and completely devoid of laughter. Yeardly Smith (one of the teachers) “acting” is excruciatingly ridiculous. Colin Hanks as assistant to the principle was about as far from funny as is humanly possible to be. But my absolute least favorite performance, that will take much time and effort to remove from my agonized mind, would be that of Mr. Thompson (Curtis Armstrong), who you may remember as Booger in Revenge of the Nerds. There is a scene where Thompson, a History teacher, gets off on the entire class chanting the word “beverage” really? Not only is this un-amusing chant so stupid it goes on for what seems like an eternity. I must not forget to mention the catch phrase or better yet, the catch word. Over and over in this never had a chance to be funny film, from one stoner to another they would say, “What?” and then in response the other would say, “What?” and on and on and on…side splitting stuff folks! It will leave you saying why am I still doing watching this?
Sean Marquette and Matt Bush in “High School.”
As a final note, if Snoop Dog was himself as high as he could possibly get, viewed this film, he would leave to do more enjoyable things such as shove bamboo shoots under his finger nails or needles in his eyes. High School can in no way compare to any of the classic stoner movies, it’s a bad buzz!
Betsy Cizek
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